National Physics Honor Society - Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is NPHS?
A: An organization invented out of thin air, National because it exists in the United States which is a nation, Physics because, well, F=ma, there, so now there's physics involved, and Honor because everything sounds better with the Honor title. Once everything in the world is prefaced with the word Honor, we will change our name to National Physics Super-Duper-Honor Society.
Q: What are the goals of NPHS?
A: To fool admissions officers into thinking you are somehow better than another applicant of equivalent standing who is not a member of NPHS.
Q: What does the induction ceremony consist of?
A: Each member participates in their own individual induction ceremony. After school, on any day of your choosing, stand outside the door of room 222 and shout, “Physics Physics Rah Rah Rah! Physics Physics Sis Boom Bah!” Then slide an envelope with your name on the front and a twenty-dollar bill inside under the door and you’ll be considered a member.
Q: What do you do?
A: Have pointless meetings which accomplish nothing.
Q: What happens at the meetings?
A: We eat cookies, drink soda, and make snide remarks about organizations we've voluntarily joined.
Q: If nothing is accomplished, why are the meetings still held?
A: To prepare you for an adult world in which the appearance of achievement often counts as actual achievement.
Q: How many hours of community service are required?
Q: What if I want to keep a log of related community service activities anyway?
A: You're not allowed to join.
Q: Wouldn't it be hypocritical for me to publicize membership in an organization I admit to being essentially vacuous?
A: Shut-up and eat another cookie.